


Even So Saint Nick-y

by Rumpleteazer



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, Gen, Grinch References, Implied Slash, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-11 21:35:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12944421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rumpleteazer/pseuds/Rumpleteazer
Summary: Robbie had an idea.An awful idea.Robbie had a wonderful, awful idea.“I’ll disguise myself as Santa Claus,” he said aloud in his excitement, “but instead ofgivingpresents, I’lltakethem!” He applauded himself. Incredible! Inspired! Truly, no one had ever thought of a plan as ingenious as this one! “They’ll never see it coming.”





	Even So Saint Nick-y

**Author's Note:**

> An AU inspired by season 1 episode Surprise Santa. Beta'd by @Talax

Everyone in Lazytown was preparing for the annual Christmas party, but Robbie Rotten, who lived just below Lazytown, was not.

Robbie carried his plate of cake through his lair, humming absently to himself. Out of habit, he pulled down his periscope to make sure the Lazytown citizens were still doing nothing. Much to his surprise, they were not. He swiveled the periscope around, following the strange activity all centered around town hall. The mayor’s secretary - what was her name? Phoneline? - monitored everything with a clipboard in one hand and a phone in the other.

It wasn’t until he noticed how many people were dropping off presents that Robbie realized what was happening.

“The town Christmas party? Already?” Robbie looked at his calendar and frowned. It _did_ say December 24th. Huh. “Oh well! That doesn’t concern _me_.” He turned back to his chair. “ _I_ wasn’t invited.” _Again_ , whispered a voice in Robbie’s head, and he slumped a little. “Not that I _want_ to go,” he insisted, and he didn’t. He would much rather be alone eating cake and watching infomercials than having to make small-talk with strangers. “…But it _would_ be nice to be asked,” Robbie finished much more quietly.

He looked back at the world above him. For some reason, this year...he kind of _did_ want to go. And what’s more, he was developing a strange urge to _do_ something about it.

Taking a large, frustrated bite of his cake, Robbie began pacing. “Every year they have this party with the _singing_ and the _presents_ and the _desserts_. Why don’t they invite me? I live here!” He put his hands on his hips. “Well, if they want the party without _me_ , maybe they shouldn’t have the party _at all!_ I’ll put a stop to it! Forever!” His thoughts halted. “… _But how?_ ” He thought hard, pausing his pacing every few moments for another bite of cake. And then…

Robbie had an idea.

An awful idea.

Robbie had a wonderful, awful idea.

“I’ll disguise myself as Santa Claus,” he said aloud in his excitement, “but instead of _giving_ presents, I’ll _take_ them!” He applauded himself. Incredible! Inspired! Truly, no one had ever thought of a plan as ingenious as this one! “They’ll never see it coming.” He added an evil laugh for good measure. Bad measure. Whatever.

“ _It’s disguise time!_ ” Robbie ran to his costume tubes.

He paused by an outfit covered in colorful feathers. “Too showy.” He strutted like a peacock to the next tube, and immediately covered his eyes. “Too glowy!” He quickly approached the third tube. He examined the blue suit with silver accents and fluffy blonde wig. “Too Bowie.” He waved his arms in front of him, as if passing a small orb between them, and moved to the last tube. “AH HA…huh?”

The tube was empty.

“I don’t _have_ a Santa Claus costume?” He kicked the railing, then paused to nurse his bruised foot. “Great. I have to do _work_.” He stormed to his mountain of fabric and began drawing a pattern.

Some time later Robbie held his new Santa suit up for inspection. Everything seemed to be in order.

“Now. Let’s try that _again_.” Robbie laid out the costume in front of him, announced “ _It’s disguise time_ ,” and spun.

He examined himself in the mirror. “ _Perfect!_ ” He did a few dance steps, just because. “Sometimes it’s so _good_ to be _bad_.” With a decidedly sinister “ _ho, ho, ho,_ ” Robbie retrieved a large sack from his work table and climbed the ladder to the outside world.

\------------

“Santa?”

A child’s voice. A child? The children of Lazytown usually stayed quietly indoors. Robbie had forgotten about them. He turned to see a young girl with wild brown hair, staring at him with wide brown eyes. _She can’t be older than four. Who lets a four-year-old wander alone?_ “…Yes. I am Santa Claus. Ho ho ho,” it wasn’t very convincing, but the child didn’t seem to mind.

The girl’s eyes got wider. “ _Wow!_ ”

Before Robbie could react she was clinging to his leg.

“Santa! Santa! Are you gonna bring me a sled?”

“Um,” _No I didn’t get you a sled!_ Robbie thought quickly. “…Have you been good?”

“Uh huh! Real good!”

She let go of his leg with one hand, and Robbie had the sneaking suspicion her fingers were now crossed behind her back. _Nice to see villainy starting early_. “Well. If you have been good, then maybe you will get your sled.” There. Not exactly a lie. How was he supposed to know if her parents got her a sled?

“ _Wow!_ ” she said again, delighted.

“Trixie!” a voice called in the distance. “Trixie, where are you?”

“Coming daddy!” The-girl-apparently-named-Trixie’s yell was so loud it made Robbie’s ears ring. She looked back up at him.

Robbie put a finger to his lips, and she nodded before running off in the direction of the voice.  
“Humph. How about that? Not even a ‘please’ or a ‘ _thank_ you, Santa,’” Robbie put a hand on his chest. “A girl after my own evil heart.” Wait. What was he doing? “Well, _that’s_ over. On with the _plan_.”

When Robbie reached town hall he was faced with a new obstacle. “Huh,” he wondered, “now _how_ do I get on the _roof?_ ” Circling to the back of the building, Robbie found a dumpster that was _just_ tall enough to let him reach the edge of the gutter.

Hauling himself onto the roof took much longer than he cared to admit. “After I ruin Christmas I am going to sleep for a week.” Robbie edged his way toward the chimney. He _very carefully_ did _not_ look back down at the ground.

Deciding he had wasted too much time already, Robbie scrambled into the chimney as quickly as possible. “It’s just like the tunnels to my lair,” he told himself. “Easy-peasy.”

The chimney was much smaller than the tubes to his lair. Was he stuck? Robbie wiggled his shoulders and sighed. This was _not_ how his brilliant plan was supposed to go. Robbie Rotten did _not_ suffocate to death in a chimney. “Maybe I should give up,” he muttered, “I have nice cake waiting for me in my lair. I’ll teleport back to the alley and- wait. _Teleport. Duh_. I mean, of course! Teleport! I’m a genius!” With a snap of his fingers and a puff of smoke Robbie was crouching in the fireplace at the bottom of the chimney.

He crawled out and brushed himself off, quickly locating the tree and the presents underneath.

“Oh my!”

Robbie did _not_ jump a foot in the air and spin around, almost falling over.

“Who are you?” It was the mayor.

Robbie caught his breath. _What does he mean, who am I? Look at my clothes!_ “ _Obviously_ , I am-” he began.

“ _Santa!_ ” a squeaky child’s voice exclaimed.

Robbie and the Mayor turned to the front door, which had opened to reveal the rest of the Lazytown citizens.

“See? I _told_ you,” yelled the loud girl Robbie had encountered earlier. Trixie? _So much for secret keeping_.

“Yes, that’s right. I’m Santa. Ho, ho, ho!” _Great, now I have to wait for_ all these people _to look away before I can…ruin Christmas_. Robbie scanned the crowd. There were more children, four in all, staring at him excitedly. The youngest was no more than two. _They all want me to be Santa_. Robbie realized. He swore the tiny blond child was looking him in the eye. _I can’t steal presents from a two-year-old, who_ does _that?_

Clearing his throat, Robbie made a decision. “I am here to…hand out the presents! Yes! Ho, ho, ho!”

The older children chattered excitedly.

“Oh! Well thank you, Mr. Claus, but we don’t do that until later,” said the mayor. “Would you like to join us for dinner?”

“Will there be sweets?” Robbie asked, unable to stop himself.

“Oh yes, lots!”

“Then of course!” Robbie followed the group to the table and sat in the extra chair someone provided. Robbie briefly wondered why he hadn’t been seated in the empty chair already at the table, but was quickly distracted by the food.

As the party continued Robbie realized he was socializing more than he had in weeks. _Months_ , probably. In the Santa disguise it was so _easy_. He just had to change “lair” to “workshop” and “various machinery” to “toys” and nobody questioned a thing.

When it was time for presents, Robbie stood awkwardly by the tree.

He picked up the first gift. “‘This one is for…Pixel.’”

“That’s _mine_ ,” said a small child.

“ _I’m_ Pixel,” argued an older boy with curly orange hair. “Don’t you _know_ our names, Santa?”

“Well, how _else_ do you think I learn?”

After presents was dessert, and before Robbie knew it he had stayed for the whole party.

“Santa! Are you gonna come again next year?”

“Come along Trixie, time to go home. Santa’s very busy tonight.”

“Oh yeah! Bye Santa!”

“Merry Christmas, Santa!”

“Thank you for coming, Mr. Claus. _Will_ we see you again next year?”

“I, uh, sure?” _What does Santa say?_ “Merry Christmas! Ho, ho, ho!” Robbie scrambled back up the chimney.

\------------

Robbie slid back into his lair, exhausted but too excited to sleep. “That was _great_ ,” he announced to no one. “They _liked_ me! Next year I’ll have to _bring_ presents, instead of just hand them out. I know _just_ what to get for…” Robbie stopped in the middle of his lair. “I _do_ want to do it again…” he whispered, dumbfounded.

And he did.

Several years went by, and, despite what happened those months in-between, “Santa” always attended the Christmas party. He started bringing small gifts for each of the children, learning what they liked. They were always thrilled to see him. Robbie even found himself looking forward to it. It gave him a reason to leave the lair, and…it actually felt nice to be a part of things once in awhile.

But then.

 _Then_.

The fifth year, _they_ arrived during the summer.

The Pink Menace, and the Blue Kangaroo in tow.

Robbie was out of his lair a _lot_ more often because of them. He was in a new disguise almost every other day. He was so busy scheming, December caught him by surprise. He was spying on the neighborhood as usual when he overheard a conversation.

“…And Santa comes to the party every year!” Loud Girl was explaining.

“Really?” Sportaflip and the Pink One asked in unison. Pinky sounded excited, Sportaflop more curious.

“Yeah,” said Picky, typing something into his armband computer, “the first year he came I was about five years old, and he’s been there every year since then.”

“And he brings us _presents!_ ” Cookie Boy added.

Robbie gasped. _Presents!_ He didn’t have presents yet! Abandoning the periscope he pulled over one of his chalkboards and began a list. “Let’s see, Trixie could use a new slingshot. Ziggy wants candy, maybe a teddy bear. For Stingy: a new, more stylish bowtie. Pixel needs better pliers…” Robbie paused. He supposed he’d have to bring _Pink Girl_ something too this year, since she seemed to be staying _much longer than just the summer_. After a moment he tentatively wrote “Stephanie - tutu” and got to work.

He only had a week left before the party, he discovered, and he used all of it. He stayed in his lair for most of that week - much longer than he had been recently, he realized with a start - and if he occasionally thought he heard the voices above wonder where Robbie was, he was surely mistaken.

It was late at night on the 23rd when he finally emerged.

Robbie had only ever brought toys for the children before, but for some reason he also felt compelled to bring one for _Sportaflop_.

“He saves me so often,” he grumbled under his breath, “I’ve never thanked him. _Maybe_ if I do this, even when he doesn’t know it’s from me, my conscience will _finally leave me alone_ ,” he rationalized as he plucked an apple from a tree. The biggest, shiniest one he could find. Not that he was _looking_. He put the apple in a small basket that already held a few others and trudged through the snow back toward his lair, looking around nervously for any potential witnesses. Why did Christmas have to bring out his _generous_ side? It wasn’t _fair_.

As Robbie drew closer to the billboard, he noticed something red sitting by the secret door.

Keeping an eye out for any other sign of traps or intruders, Robbie cautiously approached the object.

It was only an envelope. Robbie huffed indignantly. “Oh. I knew that. Wait. I _never_ get mail.” He picked it up.

“‘To: Mr. Robbie Rotten.’ Well. It could still be a mistake. I’ll just open it to be sure.” 

A strong gust of wind nearly took the letter from his hand, leaving Robbie shivering. “On second thought, maybe I’ll open it _inside_.”

As soon as he landed in his lair he carelessly tore the envelope and removed a glittery green card.

“‘Dear Mr. Rotten, You are invited to attend the Lazytown…Christmas Party?’” Robbie read the sentence over again. “‘H-held on December 24th, 5:00pm, at Town Hall,’” he finished softly. A time and a date. An official invitation. “They’re inviting…me?”

Robbie looked up from the card, and found himself staring directly at his Santa suit. “But…if I go as _me_ , I can’t be _Santa_ …” He pictured the children, how happy they were to see Santa every year. He thought about how they yelled his name when his plots were revealed and frowned.

“No. They never invited me _before_. This is just a…a _formality_. They don’t _really_ want me there.” He touched the sleeve of his Santa coat with one hand. “They want Santa.”

Robbie dropped the invitation on the floor, quickly sweeping it under the table with his foot. He then turned the radio to a Broadway station, not _too_ loud, but loud enough to distract him from his thoughts, and began the final touches on the presents.

\------------

While everyone else was filing into town hall through the front doors, Robbie snuck around back. He watched carefully to be sure everyone had arrived before teleporting to the chimney.

When he was in position, he announced his presence with a jolly “ho, ho, ho!”

The crowd fell silent, which was the desired effect. Robbie grinned, enjoying the excited gasps and anticipatory murmurs.

“See? I _told_ you!” Trixie whispered, giving Robbie a sense of déjà vu.

Robbie shimmied out of the chimney, years of practice making it almost effortless. “ _Hello_ children!” He put his sack of presents on the floor and spread his arms to accept the mob hug.

Movement at the back of the group caught his eye, and he looked up to see…Sportacus stumbling over a chair? The hero was staring directly at him, mouth hanging open. _What’s his problem? Has he never seen Santa before?_ Robbie quickly directed his attention back at the kids.

“Santa! Santa! Did you bring presents?” asked Ziggy excitedly.

“Of _course_ I did!” said Robbie. “But remember, not until _after_ dinner. However!” Robbie produced five candy canes from his sack with a flourish and handed one to each of the children.

“Thank you, Santa!” They chorused.

“You’re welcome, children!” Straightening back up Robbie caught another glimpse of Sportacus, who was now smiling the brightest Robbie had ever seen him. Which…was _really_ saying something. Robbie turned away, but had a feeling Sportacus did not. _Whatever. Weirdo_.

“Follow me everyone, it’s time for dinner!” The mayor announced.

 _Oh good, a distraction_. Robbie waited for everyone to leave the room first, Sportacus took _annoyingly_ long, then slipped the small basket of apples under the tree with the rest of the presents. Now no one would know who brought it.

Wiping his hands on his shirt he hurried to catch up with everyone else.

Since the first year, “Santa” always had a proper seat waiting at the table. However, even after adding chairs for Sportastare and Pinky, there was still that one empty space. Everyone, especially Stephanie, kept glancing between it and the door throughout dinner. Well, everyone except Sportacus. Sportacus was _still looking at Robbie_. _Doesn’t he know it’s_ rude _to stare_.

As dinner was ending Robbie noticed Stephanie turn to the mayor and sadly whisper, “I guess he’s not coming.”

“No I suppose not. I’m sorry Stephanie, maybe next year.”

_Do they mean…me?_

“Time to open _my_ presents!”

“Oh, Stingy!”

Robbie was swept along with the crowd to the tree, Stephanie’s disappointed voice still in the back of his mind.

His presents were received with glee, of course. He moved on to handing out the gifts brought by the other guests.

“And here’s the last present! This one’s for you, Bessie!”

“Wait,” said Pixel, darting under the tree. “There should be one more.”

Pixel approached Robbie, a purple package in his outstretched hand. “Our friend Robbie didn’t come. Could you deliver his present to him?”

 _To_ … Robbie froze in disbelief. “…Of course I can,” he answered finally. He held the lumpy parcel tightly, afraid he might drop it.

Pixel grinned and hugged Robbie. “Thanks, Santa!”

“You’re welcome,” Robbie answered, more quietly than his persona had been until now. He momentarily made eye contact with Sportacus, who was watching the exchange carefully from the corner with the same weird expression he’d had all night.

Robbie cleared his throat, startling Pixel out of the hug. “Oh, look at the time!” He took out a comically large pocket watch, which only confirmed he was leaving much earlier than usual. “I must be going! Very busy you know!”

Robbie crawled back into the chimney to a chorus of, “bye Santa!” and “thank you, Santa!”

As soon as his feet were no longer visible to the group he recited, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!” and teleported back into the snow behind the building.

Robbie let out a breath and looked down at the soft package in his hands. “A present? For me?” he said in a barely audible whisper. A cheerful reindeer sticker on the present said “To Robbie,” plain as day. He turned the present over and began to pull the paper off.

Inside was a purple scarf. It was clearly store-bought, and the color didn’t _quite_ match his suit, but the texture was very nice and the sentiment was definitely there.

With trembling hands Robbie wrapped the scarf around his neck. It didn’t itch. He wondered who picked it.

He turned back toward the building, more grateful than he could remember being, and realized he was still in the Santa costume. He spun into his usual suit, being extra careful to leave his new scarf on, and… _walked quickly_ to the front of town hall. He did not _run_.

He paused by the door, bracing himself for even more social interaction. _The kids want to see me. They_ want _to see_ me. _Not just Santa. They gave me a present_. Taking a deep breath, Robbie opened the door and re-entered the party.

“Sorry I’m late, I…overslept,” he said, cringing at his flimsy excuse.

“Robbie!” the children yelled excitedly in unison, running towards him.

Robbie instinctively backed into the door, momentarily overwhelmed by the amount of attention directed at _him_ without a disguise to hide behind. He wasn’t sure where to look.

In the back of the small crowd stood Sportacus, eyes positively _sparkling_.

Robbie ignored him. Not like that was _hard to do_ , of course.

“You have the scarf! Santa _did_ give it to you!” Ziggy said, bouncing up and down.

Robbie followed the hyperactive child with his eyes, then blinked to clear his head. The kid was making him dizzy. “What?” He mentally reviewed the question. “Oh, yes, I…yes, _he_ did. I uh, just saw him.”

“We’re _so_ glad you decided to come this year, Mr. Rotten,” said the mayor, sounding bafflingly genuine.

“Well I was never _invited_ before,” Robbie mumbled, bitterness returning slightly.

Bessie looked shocked. “Oh dear!”

The mayor looked embarrassed. “Yes, well. We ah, didn’t know where you _lived_.”

“I put an announcement on the town bulletin board every year, saying all Lazytown residents were welcome at the party. We assumed you would see it,” Bessie added.

Robbie blinked. “Oh.”

“We’re so sorry for the mix-up. Luckily, this year Stephanie said she found your…house and delivered a proper invitation right to you herself!” The mayor put a hand on his niece’s shoulder.

The pink-haired girl smiled brightly at Robbie. “No one should be alone on Christmas.”

He was not going to cry. He was _not_. Speechless, he let himself be pulled into his second group hug of the night.

Sportacus joined the group but not the hug. “I’m glad you came, Robbie.” The sentiment in his voice was almost tangible.

Ziggy was the first to break formation. “Come on! It’s time for cake!” He pulled Robbie by the hand and led everyone back to the table.

Robbie was seated in the empty chair.

**Author's Note:**

> In the future Robbie goes to Santa School to become a professional Santa.


End file.
